Unclear

"Be kind to yourself."

Im not sure if it's the fact that I am constantly anxious, or cannot focus on one thing at at time, but my mind is exhausted. I am still disorganized, and feel like a certified failure on a daily basis. I haven't made any of the new music I had scheduled, and I am constantly tired. My Xbox and Playstation continue to collect dust, and my "Watch List" has never been longer. This past week, I hopped on the Peloton like three times, and I can't seem to get a sense of accomplishment doing anything. My laptop even died while writing this blog post. I've been cooking a bit more, and drinking a lot more. My friends and family are constantly reminding me to take a break, but I feel like I don't deserve it ,in all honesty. I sometimes think that I have a debilitating mind that only operates on scattered thoughts and run-on sentences. My honors English teacher from High School would be mortified. Is all of this just me complaining or is there inherently a deeper issue at hand? I am trying to be kind to myself but it feels disenginuous.

Some of my friends and family members are making big moves that inspire me, which is fantastic. They are pushing me to want better for myself. Feeling the sense of stagnation or being boxed in, is a sign that God is trying to nudge me back out of my comfort zone to accomplish the next big thing in my life. I have to remain motivated to try new things and disciplined to do what's right rather than what looks good.

I set goals for myself this time last year that haven't even been touched. Though some goals I've set that I have accomplished. I guess I just need to stay focused, and optimistic that I will accomplish my goals in due time.