Staying Above Water
“You fight for a while until your arms tire, and submit to the aqua therapeutic qualities of the wave of obligation. Floating through life, helpless and hopeless before you feel things getting more and more out of hand by the minute.”
I feel like the organization for efficiency train left and I was in the bathroom taking a leak when it did. Along with seeming everyone else around, I am trying to start this new season, month, and year off with good habits, but the only trends I’m noticing are downhill on my stock portfolio.
I worry my focus is what’s propelling me to
this sense of hopelessness And self doubt. Every new skill I want to learn, every future business endeavor, every creative concept that pops in my head, I instantly dismiss with other obligations that are always seemingly more important and time sensitive in my mind.
Poor cable management and unopened packing boxes, paired with the acoustics In this house show me that my mind wants to do anything but focused between two lines on any piece of paper.
My buddy from High School got married the past weekend, and that was the first time in a long time that I got a chance to enjoy an actual weekend without having to worry about this job or that job or these obligations. To tell the truth it felt great. And I got a chance to reconnect with my Fiancé, but now I’m back on the grind with no break in sight.
It’s almost like I’m in an ongoing doggy paddle to stay above water. You fight for a while until your arms tire, and submit to the aqua therapeutic qualities of the wave of obligation. Floating through life, helpless and hopeless before you feel things getting more and more out of hand by the minute. Time ticks, and you snap back into reality and back into being another cog in the machine to contribute to the American GDP (Gross Domestic Product).
Friends, family, and even strangers are all looking to focus on a profitable skill while I feel like I’m hurling myself towards the “Jack of all trades, and master of none” type of guy. I’m spreading myself too thin, every new opportunity is exciting and I want to learn more about it. I open my laptop up, and always have at least four tabs open with things to research. I’ve started lists of things to go back to when I have time, the only issue is that I never seem to have time To double back and read them. I save articles to the my reading list and they never get read.
I feel like I’m missing out on a part of life where you’re supposed to reset and reflect. Having my nights and weekends taken from me for the last three years has put me in an awkward position and I feel obligated to do my best at both jobs and still have a healthy “work/life balance” which doesnt really play nice with the other job.
Sometimes its like your whole workday is a never ending list of “I’ll get to it after this...”. What I’m recognizing is the time management and hard cut offs are crucial. If something is time sensitive it’s beat to start it earlier in the day, and if something else has a later due date, to set up a few hours Through the week or weeks to get it all done. I’ve also recognized that minimizing distractions will help staying focused and become more efficient. The most successful days are the ones where I’m hardly on my phone or deterred from my goals.
It’s time to focus on what’s in front of me. Time to clean up my thoughts free of distractions and deterrents. That thing you said you were gonna do, do it. Don’t dilly dally or put it off until tomorrow and when tomorrow comes act brand new. Either you can change, or watch the world around you evolve instead.